Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. This week, we’re talking destination wedding gifts.

 

Question: My cousin is getting married in New York this fall. I’m planning to fly out with my family and stay for a few days, which of course will cost more than if they were having the wedding here in New Orleans. But, it’ll be fun and I’m looking forward to it. I’ve already budgeted for a shower gift, but am a little hazy on the wedding present. Do I spend the same amount on a gift for a destination wedding? If not, how much is acceptable? Also, do I bring it to the wedding or send it in advance?

Answer: A wedding weekend in New York sounds like loads of fun. These are all great questions. First, it’s perfectly acceptable to do a less expensive, yet heartfelt token since you are spending a considerable amount on travel and accommodations. Consider monogramed napkins or a sweet little set of hand towels for the bathroom. If the couple has indicated that your presence is enough of a present however, that’s your cue to either forego a gift or not — your choice. Second, it’s best to send the gift prior to the wedding, either to the bride’s residence or — if they live together —

the couple’s shared home. You also can mail it within a month after the wedding. (But contrary to a popular myth, not for up to a year. That’s a no-no.) Have fun in the Big Apple!

 

Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.