Wediquette Wednesday: Early rehearsal dinners, Part II

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. This week, we are continuing last week’s conversation, when we explored having the rehearsal dinner the weekend before the wedding.  (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.) 


For reference, here is the original question and answer, as well as a wonderful suggestion from another reader:

Question: My husband and I are hosting our son’s wedding and reception at our home. Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is the night before the wedding. Because we are hosting the wedding and the days leading up to it will be filled with details, we were wondering if we could have the rehearsal dinner the weekend before. Three of the groomsmen live out of town. If rehearsal is scheduled for the weekend before the wedding, the three groomsmen will not be able to attend. If we have the rehearsal the night before, these groomsmen will be able to attend. It would be more convenient for us to host [a] backyard seafood boil the weekend before instead of the night before. Is this proper or should we revisit the rehearsal plans?

Answer: It sounds as if you have a lovely wedding weekend planned and is generous of you to open up your home for the event. A seafood boil rehearsal sounds like a lot of fun. If everyone in the bridal party were local, it would be permissible to have the rehearsal the weekend prior to the wedding. However, with three of your son’s groomsmen coming in from out of state and unable to make two trips, the rehearsal dinner will have to be worked into the wedding weekend. If your budget permits, I recommend hosting the boil at one of your favorite local restaurants with a beautiful patio or courtyard or asking a friend or relative to co-host it at their house. This will alleviate some of the stress stemming from wedding day prep and the ensuing chaos happening at your own house.

Reader response/suggestion: Why not have it on the Wednesday or Thursday before the wedding? Freeing up the night before the wedding.

Melanie here: Agreed, this is also a great idea. It would extend the wedding weekend festivities, but if the out-of-towners in the wedding party are able to squeeze in a few extra days, this is a great way to solve the problem.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email




P.S. Save the date for the June 2016 New Orleans Magazine Bridal Show, 6 to 9 p.m., at the Hyatt Regency Hotel. Meet with the city’s premiere wedding industry professionals and plan every aspect of your Big Day from the engagement to the honeymoon and everything between! Click here for advance tickets and additional information. 



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