Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: My fiancé and I are having a destination wedding for a small group and also a bigger party in New Orleans. For destination weddings with a local reception, do you have the party before or after the wedding? Also, how do you handle invitations for a destination wedding? Should we send paper invites to both events? Finally, people are asking if they can attend, but our guest list is very small. However, we do want to invite a much larger number of people to the local party.
Answer: You would have the big party in New Orleans after the smaller destination wedding. For the invites, it really should be paper invites for both the destination wedding and the party. This is both to adhere to the tradition and to show that it’s a special, more formal occasion (meaning it’s something for which the hosts will incur a large expense and shouldn’t be taken likely by invitees) — so it sets the tone. For people asking if they can come (which by the way is a no-no), tell them something like this: “It’s going to be a small, intimate, destination wedding with only very close family, but we are having a big party in New Orleans soon after our return and you’ll see your invitation in the mail soon!”
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.