Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. This week, because it’s a common dilemma, we’re offering up an excerpt from the Dee Lane advice column archives of New Orleans Bride Magazine.


Question: When is the right time to start contacting people who haven’t RSVP’d and what do I say? I don’t want to hound anyone who doesn’t want to come, but catering numbers are due soon. Maybe it got lost in the mail?

Answer: This is a touchy subject for both you and the person who hasn’t yet responded, so be polite. About one week after your RSVP deadline (which should have been printed on the RSVP card or somewhere on your invitation suite and,or your website) you should send out personalized emails to each person and,or couple from whom you haven’t heard. Say something to the effect of: “Hello Sam, I haven’t received your RSVP for Mike’s and my wedding on Feb. 24 in New Orleans. I just wanted to make sure that I have your information correct. Will you be bringing Suzie? Sincerely, Rachel.”

Reaching out sooner rather than later is good, in case you have trouble reaching anyone. Also, don’t expect a reply right away; give them a few days to respond before trying again. For older guests who might not often check emails, making that call, while difficult, is the right thing to do, and you can say almost the same thing on a call, which gives you the added bonus of getting a reply immediately.



Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.

For more advice by New Orleans Bride Magazine etiquette columnist Dee Lane, check out her most recent column in the new Winter/Spring 2015 issue.