Wediquette Wednesday: How can I tell my fiancé’s mom she has to throw a bridal or couple’s shower?


Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My fiancé and I are planning our wedding and have already had a couple of showers and parties from people on my side of the family. There hasn’t yet been one from his parents however and we don’t know what to do. How can I tell my fiancé’s mom she has to throw a bridal or couple’s shower?

Answer: Traditionally, the groom’s parents have taken on the responsibility for the rehearsal dinner. Sometimes they also handle the florals for the wedding. Beyond that, anything they do whether it’s an engagement party, a shower or some other financial contribution, it’s up to them what they want to provide, if anything. Additionally, since a lot of couples get married later, live together for many years, might even be homeowners and have their household set up or are perhaps footing the bill for the wedding and parties, the rule about rehearsal dinners has also shifted and is more case-by-case. To answer your question however, you shouldn’t tell your fiancé’s mom or anyone that they have to throw a party. If she chooses to, that’s great, but people from his side of the family should be included in the other showers and parties, which would mean they are already contributing to the event and participating in the festivities. If she does end up planning something, you will both be very pleasantly surprised.



Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email


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