Wediquette Wednesday: How can we make the shower less painful for a shy bride-to-be?


Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My friends and I are planning a shower for our excruciatingly shy friend. She is so shy, she is both excited about and dreading the walk down the aisle, but feels better because she will at least have her dad walking with her to the front of the church. Meanwhile, we thought having a couple’s shower would take some of the focus off of her, but are also looking for other ways to keep her comfortable. How can we make the shower less painful for a shy bride-to-be?

Answer: It’s so thoughtful of you to try to find ways to make this easier on your friend. There are many of us who are shy and prefer not to be the center of attention. Birthday celebrations, bridal and baby showers and of course wedding ceremonies and receptions are all stressful for people who feel uncomfortable in the spotlight. A couple’s shower is a great start, because this splits the attention. Next, try to keep the guest list small and only include close friends and family. When it comes to opening gifts, if her spouse-to-be isn’t shy, they can do the honors. That said, it’s OK to open gifts later. Just make sure everyone gets a thank you note! Group games can also alleviate some of the pressure, but ask if that’s something the couple is interested in doing before adding it to the itinerary. Finally, be sure to run through the schedule of activities prior to the event, so that your friend can be prepared for each stage of the gathering. With so much thoughtful planning, she’s sure to have a great time and appreciate your consideration.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email



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