Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)

Question: We are working on our wedding invitations and I’m well versed in the guidelines for the various titles and honorifics, with the exception of same sex couples. My aunt has been with her partner for over 20 years. They aren’t yet married legally and they don’t share a surname. We also have two male friends that were married last year. I want to make sure to get it right. How do I address wedding invitations to a same sex couples?

Answer: It’s lovely that you are being so attentive and thoughtful to your loved ones and friends. Use these as a standard rule:

  • For non-married couples that consider themselves married:

Ms. Jane Jones and Ms. Sarah Smith (feel free to ask if they prefer Ms. or no honorific)



  • For non-married couples that do not consider themselves married:

Ms. Jane Jones

Ms. Sarah Smith



  • For married couples with the same last name it’s:

Mr. Joseph Jones and Mr. Anthony Jones



  • For married couples with different last names it’s:

Mr. Joseph Gray and Mr. Anthony Jones



It’s also always OK to ask the couple their preference.




Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.


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