Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: My fiancé’s parents offered to pay for our rehearsal dinner, but they don’t want to have anything to do with the planning. We are 100 percent grateful for the help, but they haven’t given us a budget. In the past, when my friends and family got married and the future in-laws paid for the rehearsal, they also planned it. We don’t even know where to start, since we don’t have dollar amount. How do I ask my fiancé’s parents about the rehearsal dinner budget?
Answer: It’s a wonderful gesture from your soon-to-be in-laws to offer to pay for the rehearsal. Historically, it has been a tradition for the groom’s parents to give the couple a rehearsal dinner. In this age of anything goes however, many couples are waiting longer to marry and therefore footing the bill for every aspect of their wedding celebrations and with the legalization of same sex marriage it less cut and dry for couples and their families regarding who pays for what. This is still the more traditional arrangement, even though his parents aren’t organizing it. Simply schedule a time for the two of you to meet with his parents and discuss the budget. Invite them over for dinner, coffee or happy hour, for example, and tell them in the invitation that you’d like to chat about the rehearsal dinner budget so you can get started on the planning. Either they will accept the invitation, or they will just tell you the budget without the meeting. Either way, they will be prepared to discuss it and everyone can move forward. No matter what amount they give you, be sure to thank them for their generosity and support.
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.