Wediquette Wednesday: How do I ask my parents to contribute to my wedding?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My fiancé popped the question last month. We are in the beginning stages of planning, but it’s hard to pull the trigger on anything, because we don’t yet know how much my parents plan to contribute. They’ve made comments in the past that they would help, but since announcing the engagement they haven’t mentioned it. How do I ask my parents to contribute to my wedding?

Answer: Congratulations on your engagement! It’s good that you’ve gotten started, but the first step is to gather estimates — rather than booking anything — so the good news is you are not behind schedule. It’s also good that your parents mentioned assistance in the past, so it won’t be a surprise when you bring it up. It does seem however that you will have to be the one to bring it up. Prepare them by saying you’d like to schedule a time to meet up and talk about the wedding. Next, during the conversation, be as polite as possible and ask if they plan to contribute, rather than how much. This is where your cost estimates will come in handy, so bring that along and give them an idea of those numbers. This way, they know the basic cost and can decide what works for them and their budget. Be appreciative and express your gratitude no matter how high or low they decide to go.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Email




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