Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: I’m the maid of honor for my friend’s wedding and there are nine bridesmaids. We decided to go in on a group gift so we can get them one of the more expensive items on their registry. It’s in my budget and no problem for me to pay for my portion of the total, but unfortunately I’m not currently in the position to pay upfront for the gift, even if everyone pays me back right away. How do I ask someone else to pay for a group wedding gift?

Answer: What a great idea. Your friends are sure to be grateful for such a thoughtful gesture. We all have different financial situations. If you know for certain someone in the group is financially flush enough to handle the upfront cost, ask her privately and then tell the group the name of the wedding gift coordinator, along with a list of payment options, such as Venmo, PayPal, cash or check, and the information on how to get those funds to her. If you aren’t sure, put a call out to the group for a volunteer to purchase the gift, include the total cost and the information that everyone will pay her their portion by a certain date and again, with whatever her preference is in terms of payment. My guess is you aren’t the only one in the group on a tight budget and also that someone else is likely in the position to handle it. If everyone is in the same boat, consider layaway if there is time, or come up with a plan B in which everyone is responsible for their own gift. Sometimes even the best ideas require the flexibility to move in another direction if it just isn’t working out.



Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.


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