Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: My fiancé and I were supposed to get married next week, and we had to cancel our wedding due to the coronavirus pandemic. With everything that’s going on, it feels wrong and downright selfish for me to be so depressed and stressed over it, but I am. I’m just devastated over the loss of funds we’re suffering, as well as friend and family who were traveling in and had to cancel transportation and hotel stays, the fact that we now have to go through the planning process all over again if we decide to reschedule and, most importantly, that we now have to wait months or maybe even a year or more to begin our lives together as husband and wife. My fiancé has been amazing through all of it — he is a rock. But I’m a mess. How do I handle emotions about canceling my wedding, when there are so many terrible things going on right now?
Answer: I’m so sorry you had to cancel your wedding and for all of the stress and sadness you are experiencing. It’s absolutely natural and OK for you to have a wild range of emotions over the situation. Other bad things happening around us don’t negate our feelings. Acknowledge the emotions, allow them and talk about them with your fiancé, family and friends. If it feels as though you are obsessing or if it all feels like too much, schedule an appointment with a therapist or sign up for teletherapy. You’ve suffered a loss and what you are going through is grief. Give yourself permission to grieve and process it. If you do that, eventually the cloud will lift and, when you are ready, you can start rescheduling. When that happens, try to find the enthusiasm you had the first time around and look at it as a chance to make a few changes or tweaks that reflect the way you are as a couple once you get past this situation. You’ve got this.
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.