Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.) This installment is from New Orleans Bride Magazine’s etiquette columnist, Dee Lane.


Question: I want to invite my fiancé’s cousin’s wife to a bridal shower (she and her husband are already invited to the wedding), but they live across the country and it would be expensive for her to come all that way for a party. How can I include her but also let her know that I don’t expect her to come?

Answer: It’s very sweet of you to want to make sure your loved ones who live far away feel cherished and involved with the events leading up to your wedding. A great way to express your feelings is to include a handwritten note with the shower invitation. Perhaps say something like, “We miss you and would love to have you attend, but understand it’s a long way to travel. If you can’t make it, would you join us in spirit by sending a wish or a memory that we can share on your behalf during the event?” You could even arrange a specific time for her to Skype in to send her best wishes herself.



Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.


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This article originally appears in the Winter 2018 issue of New Orleans Bride.