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Wediquette Wednesday: How do I say no to being my coworker’s bridesmaid?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My work friend recently got engaged and mentioned she plans to have four bridesmaids. She says she wants her sister, a childhood friend, college friend and a work friend. I have a feeling I’m probably the work friend since she doesn’t really socialize outside of the office with anyone else at our company. It won’t hurt my feelings if she asks another coworker or friend, because I’m in five family and friend weddings over the next year and am a bit overwhelmed at the thought of the responsibility of adding another one into the mix. If she does ask, I don’t want to hurt her feelings, because I really love having her as a friend in the office and in my personal life. How do I say no to being my coworker’s bridesmaid?

Answer: You are being thoughtful by considering your friend’s feelings and also taking into account your already full schedule in the coming months. Your best approach is honesty. If she asks, say something to the effect of, “Thank you so much for thinking of me. I’m touched that you want to include me in such a special day. As much as I’d love to, I’ve committed to being in five weddings over the next 10 months and am already feeling a little overwhelmed. I’m so glad we are close and I want to be here for you as much as possible, but I think it’s better if I sit this one out. What do you think?” If she continues to press, just stick to the script and proceed with kindness.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.


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