Wediquette Wednesday: How do I word the wedding invitation if both sets of parents are paying?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My parents and my fiancé’s parents are splitting the cost of our wedding, as opposed to the more traditional arrangement of my parents taking on the entire expense. I’ve noticed that the bride’s parents are usually listed first on the invitation, as in, “Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Jones request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter …” Do we still word it that way or is it different when both sets of parents are paying equal shares of the total?

Answer: You are correct, that the traditional wording is that the parents of the bride are first and the ones doing the inviting. With many couples waiting to get married until they are well into their chosen professions and footing the bill themselves; as well as several family members chipping in; and, as in your case, the parents splitting the cost, it’s important to customize the language. For your wedding it would be, “Together with their families, Jill Smith and Christopher Jones request the honor of your presence…”


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email



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