Wediquette Wednesday: How do I work with my ex when he is getting married on his weekend and wants me to take the children?
Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may have been edited for brevity.)
Question: My ex-husband is getting married next month. The wedding weekend happens to fall on his week with the children. As you might imagine, I’m struggling with some emotions related to his new relationship and the wedding. I don’t want to get back together with him — but, it’s still a weird time. Additionally, I don’t quite understand why he doesn’t want the children at the wedding, but I also don’t want to pry. On the one hand, I of course don’t mind having the children on an off week, but at the same time, this is upsetting the balance of our custody agreement and I’m not sure how to proceed. How do I work with my ex when he is getting married on his weekend and wants me to take the children?
Answer: Of course you are experiencing an emotional rollercoaster. That is 100 percent natural under the circumstances. Perhaps the best course of action is to suggest to your ex-husband that you’ll be happy to keep them on his week so he can focus on the wedding, but that you’d like to switch another week later in the month or in the following month. Recommend the best week for you and your schedule and if that isn’t good, continue to hash it out until you find one that works for both of you, even if it’s a few months out. Meanwhile, find a lot of fun things to do with the kids the weekend of the wedding, so that no one (including you) feels left out. Also be sure to schedule some alone time to process the situation and allow yourself to feel the emotions, whatever they are, without judgment. Then treat yourself to something healthy that you enjoy. Anything from a walk in the park or a trip to your favorite bookstore to a long hot bath or a full spa day should do the trick.
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.