Wediquette Wednesday: How do you make sure a couple receives a charitable donation gifted in their name?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My niece got married last month. This was a second marriage for both she and her now husband, they are financially secure and have a beautiful, well-appointed home, so they requested donations to their favorite charity, in lieu of gifts. I made a donation in their name prior to the wedding, but am not certain whether or not they received anything from the organization alerting them to the gift. They’ve been traveling on an extended honeymoon, so if they did get an acknowledgment, I don’t expect to get a thank you card for another month or so. Naturally, I don’t want to interrupt their travels, but should I say something when they return? Is it better to call the organization and inquire further into its process? How do you make sure a couple receives a charitable donation gifted in their name?

Answer: This is one of my favorite practices. I’m happy to see it has gained steam over the past few years and is becoming a popular choice for both well-established couples and those just starting out. First, I would — as you suggested — call the organization and ask about their process. They might automatically send out a notice and they can check their records to confirm whether or not one was sent to the couple. If not, feel free to send a card to the couple. In it, offer your congratulations and well wishes. Next, mention that a donation in whatever the amount was that you gave was made in their name to XYZ charity. Even if they did get an acknowledgement from the charity, I’m sure they would love to return home to a personal card from you in their mailbox.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email



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