Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: My question involves the wedding invitation enclosure cards. We are praying that our family and friends will all attend the Mass, even if they cannot attend the reception. I just do not see 275 guests being allowed in one space (and the band and dancing is an entirely different nightmare). How should I word the wedding invitation to convey the numbers will be controlled by the current COVID-19 phasing? Do I order 175 invitations and R.S.V.P. cards and only include those in the family and close friends for the current number? Do I add a printed note that says that while we are heartbroken that not everyone can attend the reception, we hope that will join us for the wedding ceremony? Are phone calls more appropriate to explain? Is there even a protocol for this insanity? I have ordered 200 wax cake bags …. My backup plan is to have cake and favors available for the guests that will not be at the reception.
Answer: It’s certainly confusing and stressful to plan an event right now. Everyone doing it has my sympathy. It sounds as though you are asking all of the right questions and really putting the guest’s safety and feelings first, which is what every host should do, even in less chaotic and uncertain times. Do include wording to indicate that the numbers will be controlled by the phasing regulations in place at the time of the event. Do include only family and close friends in the current number and add the note about everyone joining for the wedding ceremony. Feel free to also call people on the phone, if following up after including the note feels more personal than just the note. There really isn’t a protocol at this point other than being open, communicative and kind. I love the idea of the cake and favors and I’m certain your guests will, too!
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.