Wediquette Wednesday: If I haven’t gotten a thank you, can I check to confirm my cousin got the wedding gift?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)

Question: My cousin got married last month. I got the couple a set of wine glasses off the registry and had it shipped to their home. A thank you card would be nice, but I don’t expect one. (Meaning a verbal thank you, text or email would be fine with me.) Plus, it has only been a month and they honeymooned for two weeks. All of that being said, I saw them at a family gathering last week and they didn’t mention anything. Now I’m wondering if they even received the gift. If I haven’t gotten a thank you, can I check to confirm my cousin got the wedding gift? 

Answer: The rule of thumb is to get thank you notes out within three months of the wedding, so they are still on track. As you stated, a thank you in any format is fine. However, it’s perfectly acceptable — especially given you mailed it — to check in on the gift and make sure it was delivered. Simply call, text or email your cousin and  ask how they liked the wine glasses. They will probably confess that they meant to get a thank you to you and that they are working on it. Or you might discover that they indeed didn’t get the gift and you will need to follow up with the retailer or the delivery service. 

Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Email

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