Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My friend’s bridal shower was scheduled to happen the second weekend of May and I’m the maid of honor. Since the New Orleans lockdown was extended to the middle of the month, the other bridesmaids and I are at a loss for how to proceed. We thought of canceling it, but that is so depressing. It seems like everything can be done virtually at this point, but we weren’t sure if it would be a breach of etiquette. Is it appropriate to throw our friend a virtual bridal shower during lockdown?

Answer: It really boils down to whether or not your friend is OK with it. So your first order of business is to ask her, “Would you rather cancel and reschedule the shower or do it virtually?” If she is game, then go for it. With a little planning, you can certainly pull it off. Determine a platform, such as Facetime, Zoom or Skype. Make sure all of the guests have access to your choice and get the word out with all of the relevant information, including links if you are using Zoom. It is fine to use email for this, rather than stationery. If she is sheltering in place with family or roommates or cohabitating with her spouse-to-be, enlist help from one of those individuals. For example, you can send or do a no-contact handoff of decorations, gifts and anything else the bride will need to make things festive and they can decorate for her and set everything up. You and all of the bridesmaids can decide on what to serve, have it delivered to the bride’s house and all of the attendees can also order from the same place. Have champagne, mimosa fixings or the ingredients for whatever cocktail or beverages you planned to serve delivered via Drizly or, again, include that in the “kit” you send in advance. Ask all of the guests to mail cards and gifts in advance. When the time comes, launch the Zoom and have a great time chatting, sipping bubbly, watching the bride-to-be open gifts and enjoying (virtual) time spent together bonding and celebrating your friend.



Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.