Wediquette Wednesday: Is it OK to bring the gift to the wedding?


Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: Recently, I attended my friend’s daughter’s big, beautiful wedding. When I placed our gift on the designated table, I noticed there were only a handful of presents. The table was right inside the door and decorated, clearly indicating that this was the place to put gifts. Thinking back, I know there wasn’t any word of mouth conversation or correspondence discouraging gifts. I know some people send gifts in advance, especially if they can’t attend the wedding or if they live out of town, but at weddings in the past the table is always overflowing. Is it OK to bring the gift to the wedding?

Answer: Technically, gifts are to be sent to the home of the parents, the bride or the groom or to the shared home of the couple (since many people cohabitate prior to getting married). The reason behind this is so that the couple doesn’t have to collect and haul the gifts after the reception or make arrangements, so sending gifts in advance takes one more thing off of the long list of “things to do” for a wedding. It’s certainly not considered bad form however to bring the gift to the wedding and, as you mentioned, they anticipated and planned for it by decorating the table and situating it close to the entry into the hall. In the future, consider sending gifts in advance, especially if the item is big and bulky or awkwardly shaped. But, if you shop late or have to bring it to the event for any other reason, don’t worry, the couple will certainly be more than happy to figure out how to get it home and will appreciate your generosity and your help in celebrating such an important day.



Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email



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