Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)

Question: Next month my cousin is getting married. Our aunt is unable to attend to due a previously planned surgery that can’t be rescheduled. She’ll be in recovery the day of the wedding though and could watch, but the couple isn’t planning to livestream it. Is it OK to Facetime the ceremony so a guest that can’t attend can watch remotely?

Answer: It’s thoughtful of you to try and devise a way for your aunt to participate in the wedding since she will be recovering from surgery. I’m sure she is feeling left out and would appreciate the Facetime opportunity. That said, since the couple has opted not to livestream for out-of-town guests, it’s possible that they don’t want anyone (other than potentially their own videographer) livestreaming or Facetiming. The best way to find out however is to ask. Let them know at the outset however that you completely understand if the answer is no. If they agree to it, ask them if they have any guidelines for you. For example, they may want you to coordinate with the photographer or videographer to make sure you aren’t in the way of the people hired to shoot the wedding. Be sure to follow through on any of their requests or that of the photographer and videographer so that it doesn’t become a problem. If they say no, accept their answer gracefully and let your aunt know that you will share every detail of the day with her as soon as you can call or Facetime to catch up. 

Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.