Wediquette Wednesday: Is it OK to have a shower to celebrate with friends and loved ones not being invited to the wedding?
Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: My daughter recently got engaged and we’re very excited. However, due to COVID, she is planning on having a micro wedding in lieu of the original large wedding in March 2021. The guest list will be roughly 35 people with immediate family and wedding party to make sure there won’t be any cancellations. Several people have offered to give her a bridal shower and I’ve been reluctant and thinking she might need to forego these parties now. Normally, if you’re not invited to the wedding you wouldn’t be invited to the shower. Do these rules still apply or is it OK to have a shower to celebrate with friends and loved ones not being invited to the wedding?
Answer: Because it’s a brave new world and we literally haven’t done this sort of thing before, we are making up a lot of the rules as we go along. I’m with you on forgoing parties to cut down on potential exposure. Meanwhile, a lot of brides, bridesmaids, and families are moving the parties online and doing them via Zoom, so that’s a 100 percent safe option. Friends and family can mail or drop off gifts in advance and you can even have treats, lunch boxes or what have you delivered to each guest at their home and do games during the Zoom. At this stage, if someone wants to celebrate the bride, I say go for it, even if they aren’t able to be included in the Big Day.
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.