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Wediquette Wednesday: Is it OK to opt out of group activities for the guests at a wedding or reception?


Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My cousin is getting married next month. She is the kind of person who is always game for anything, which is one of the many things I love about her. I however am not. I’m more of an introvert. I have lots of hobbies and, while I enjoy socializing, I prefer low-key activities or events and gatherings with some level of predictability or familiarity. She has alluded to surprise activities at the wedding and reception and is very excited to have me participate. I’m filled with dread at the prospect. Is it OK to opt out of group activities for the guests at a wedding or reception?

Answer: As wedding guests, we are tasked with not only showing up, but also participating in the celebrations. The couple has spent months and possibly even two or three years planning a memorable event for their friends and family. They are likely nervous about everyone’s enjoyment and the event’s success. All of this is to say that for just one day or evening, we can set aside our own preferences and “opt in” for our friend or family member. Opt in to the photo booth and don the silliest props, race to try and catch the bouquet if she does a toss (and you are a single lady) and raise your hand if she requests a partner for the chicken dance. While participating in certain activities might take us out of our comfort zone for a few minutes, it’s a small price to pay to see the joy it brings to our hosts who have put so much time, effort and, frankly, expense into creating a fun-filled and memorable occasion.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.



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