Wediquette Wednesday: Is it the bride’s role to approve the mother of the groom’s dress?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. This week, we are sharing a question from Dee Lane’s column in the new Winter/Spring 2016 issue of New Orleans Bride Magazine.


Question: My soon-to-be daughter-in-law sent me an email today telling me, in no uncertain terms, her guidelines for the dress I will be wearing to my son’s wedding. This isn’t our first time butting heads during wedding planning, but I thought she would trust me not to embarrass my family or myself. Is it the bride’s role to approve the mother of the groom’s dress? If not, how should I handle this?

Answer: It is not. It is fine to have a discussion about your choices, but she may not dictate what you will wear. It seems from your question that you are angry. Give your future daughter-in-law a break and try not to take it personally. During wedding planning, unfortunately some brides become overexcited about every little detail and overlook boundaries; she’s probably not directing orders at you because she thinks you’ll be inappropriate. Ask her to set aside some time to chat with you about her plans — maybe over lunch or a glass of champagne. Let her show you what she’s excited about. Then show her examples of dresses that you’re considering and tell her why you like them. Once you’re together, you’ll both remember that you’re about to be family and I’m sure you can come to a, very flattering, decision.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email


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