Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. This week, we’re taking a question from a colleague about sharing the cost of the engagement ring.
Question: My boyfriend and I have lived together for years. We combined our finances when we bought the house we own and are planning to get married sometime next year, so we’ve been engagement ring shopping. Since we’ll have to budget together for the ring, what’s the etiquette on sharing the cost of the engagement ring?
Answer: According to The Knot’s 2013 Engagement and Jewelry Study, “32 percent of brides discussed the engagement ring budget or helped decide on the budget with their groom.” Also, “27 percent helped shop for the ring or were even there at the time of purchase.” Surprises are nice, but in a case such as yours, which is becoming more and more common, if you are sharing finances, clearly there has to be a budget discussion and at the very least the two of you should decide on the amount to spend and how to cover it. At that point, you can choose whether to split the cost, taking it from the shared financial pot, and how — depending on your respective salaries — or agree that he’ll foot the bill out of a separate budget to which only he is contributing funds. The good news is that since you’ve already been having these types of budget discussions, it should be a fairly routine conversation. Congrats on your upcoming engagement and good luck!
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.
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