Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: My mom and I were invited to my friend’s wedding. This friend has always been close to both of us and even calls my mom her auntie. Mom really wants to attend, but she’s going through a divorce and is just all raw emotion. She is afraid she won’t be able to hold it together on my friend’s Big Day and would be mortified if she broke down during the ceremony or reception, or otherwise drew attention to herself in any way. My friend knows about the divorce and would definitely understand. But my mom is on the fence about R.S.V.P.-ing no. Should a person going through a divorce opt out of a wedding?
Answer: My heart goes out to your mom. Going through a divorce is an emotional rollercoaster under the best circumstances. It’s beyond understandable that she’d feel a bit raw about attending a wedding at this time. The best self-care for her right now might be to send along a lovely gift and card, sit this one out and plan an uplifting alternate activity for herself the evening of the wedding, perhaps with a friend, or pamper herself at home. It’s always OK to R.S.V.P. ‘no’ to a wedding for any reason. Sometimes it’s because you aren’t that close to the couple, other times it’s because life is beyond hectic or you have another commitment. Even if that commitment is simply to yourself, because you are having a hard time, saying no is A-OK.
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Email melanie@myneworleans.com.
