Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: Should I include registry information with the save-the-date, shower and wedding invitations?
Answer: Many couple’s feel they are doing guests a favor by giving them all of the essential information in one tidy package. While the intention is likely a generous one — to save guests time and energy — and it may seem counterintuitive, omit registry details from any and all invitations. Lizzie Post of the Emily Post Institute put this quite eloquently in a recent “Awesome Etiquette” podcast. To summarize Post, she says the invitation is reserved to tell loved ones they are so significant to you and your soon-to-be spouse, that you want them present on the day you make the most important decision of your life.
This is a place to acknowledge your love and friendship for the individuals on your guest list as people of honor in your life. When other information, details and myriad inserts are included, it dilutes the special message you are sending to the other party.
With that in mind, leave it up to the wedding party, parents and other loved ones in the know to be your registry ambassadors. It is however OK to include that information on your wedding website. Rest assured, guests will come to your loved ones and you for the information. If asked, it’s absolutely fine and expected that you’d tell them where you are registered, but don’t be the one to bring it up.