Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: We have a close and very dear family friend who has such a wonderful relationship with our daughter, that he insisted on being a cohost for the engagement party. He and his second wife are going in on the expenses with my husband and I, and the groom’s parents. Our daughter is also close with our friend’s ex-wife, plus their daughter is her best friend and is the maid of honor in the wedding. Our friend and his ex-wife get along well and co-parent wonderfully together, so we are inclined to invite her to the party. That said, we don’t want to step on any toes. Should we invite a family friend’s ex-wife to our daughter’s engagement party?

Answer: If everyone gets along well, there seems to be no reason to leave your friend’s ex-wife out of the festivities, especially given her relationship with your daughter. Discuss it with your friend, just to make sure there isn’t any strife of which you are unaware. If he is OK with it as your co-host, issue the invitation. If not, consider having a conversation with your daughter, her maid of honor and your friend’s ex-wife to head hurt emotions off at the pass. Take her to lunch or coffee, break the news gently and offer invitations to some of the other events surrounding the wedding, including luncheons, showers and shopping excursions to include her in other ways.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.




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