Wediquette Wednesday: Should we let people know we are continuing with our wedding as scheduled?


Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My fiancé and I are scheduled to get married in October of 2021. Obviously we have no idea what the status of the pandemic will be that far in advance, but as of right now, we are hopeful that our Big Day will go off as planned or perhaps only slightly modified. We confirmed the venue pre-pandemic and sent out save the dates immediately, because we wanted to give family and friends coming in from out of state and out of the country plenty of time to make decisions and travel arrangements. Over the past few weeks, more and more people are reaching out to ask whether or not we plan to proceed with that date. I love hearing from friends and family, but am wondering if maybe we shouldn’t shoot an update out, since we’ve heard from several loved ones. Should we let people know we are continuing with our wedding as scheduled?

Answer: Communication is key in the best circumstances, so when it comes to times like these, it’s even more important. People are uncertain and even if we can’t offer definitive plans or answers, just keeping loved ones (and vendors) in the loop can have a positive effect. Send out updates every couple of months (or no more than monthly) between now and when the invitations go out. Keep them short, sweet and informative, but as light-hearted as you can, while also assuring your guests that their safety is driving your decision making process. Then be sure to stick to that safety first mindset, as promised. As you said, no one knows what the coming weeks, month and year will bring, but we can all do our best to stay in touch while we continue to safely distance.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email




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