Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue.
Question: My fiancée and I are having a child-free wedding and reception. We read your advice a couple of months ago and know we aren’t supposed to include anything to that effect on the invitations. But what should we do about the save-the-date cards? Several family members are coming into New Orleans from out of town. We’d hate for them to buy airfare for their child or children when they get the save-the-date card, only to realize once they receive the proper invitation, that it’s addressed only to the adults. Should we put a note about our child-free wedding in the save-the-date cards?
Answer: This is a great question and it’s very thoughtful of you to think ahead, since the save-the-date card is a cue to begin making arrangements for travel and, in the case of families, childcare. That said, do not include a note in the save-the-date. No matter how tactfully you try to word “no children,” or “child-free,” or what have you, someone is inevitably going to have hurt feelings. Instead, address the save-the-date cards only to the adults in the household just as you will the invitations when the time comes. Next, rely on family and friends to spread the word as soon as possible. One idea might be to enlist your respective parents to call out-of-town invitees with children and say something to the effect of, “By now you probably received Jim and Jane’s save-the-date cards and I can’t tell you how excited we all are to see you at the wedding. You likely noticed the card was addressed to only you and Trisha. They’ve opted to have a child-free wedding and reception that should be a fun night out for the adults, so I wanted to catch you before you started making travel plans.”
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.
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