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Wediquette Wednesday: What are my best man obligations outside of the bachelor party?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. This week, we are answering a reader question about the best man’s role during the wedding festivities.

Question: My brother is getting married and he asked me to be the best man. I’ve never done it before, so I want to make sure to get it right. Thankfully, he wants a hunting trip for the is bachelor party, so that’ll be easy enough. But, what are my obligations outside of the bachelor party?

Answer: What a great honor to be at the top of your brother’s list for a best man! It’s thoughtful of you to seek advice on how best to fulfill this important role and be there for your brother. Wedding attendants are there to stand beside their friend or family member, support them and assist in getting to the altar and celebrating the wedding festivities. Bear in mind that you’ve also been selected to support your brother in his marriage after the festivities, so it’s a weighty job, to be sure. Traditionally, the best man organizes and hosts the bachelor party. With couple’s showers being more and more popular, you might also be asked to assist in hosting a shower with the bridesmaids, family members or other groomsmen. In that event, you’d be obligated to help plan and also to chip in on the expenses. Keep in mind while budgeting, that you’ll need money for your wedding day attire, travel expenses if it’s a destination wedding, shower and bachelor party expenses, as well as a shower and wedding gift. Finally, during the reception, it’s expected that the best man will deliver a toast. Do keep your speech short, sweet and focused on the couple. Don’t discuss past girlfriends, engagements or conquests or work too blue, given that most receptions include a variety of people with a variety of thresholds for off-color jokes and language.

Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.

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