We are continuing Wediquette Week here at Let Them Eat Cake. Monday, we discussed whether a guest should bring their wedding gift to the actual wedding or not, and yesterday we asked if it was OK to wear black to a wedding. In this installment, we are keeping with attire and discussing a topic that I (Kelly) have noticed all too often at weddings: guests wearing jeans.
The question we posed was, “it’s not proper etiquette to kick someone out of your wedding, but what can you do if someone shows up in jeans, not matching the appropriate attire of the event, to your wedding?”
Unfortunately, kicking someone out of your wedding for not adhering to the suggested attire for the event is a no-no. While etiquette originated in the court of the King Louis XIV of France as a way to keep things in order during the grand summer celebrations at the Palace of Versailles and later became a way to further distinguish rank, thereby becoming a way distance the “have nots,” if you will, it evolved into a set of guidelines set forth to make navigating social and cultural situations easier. This philosophical take on etiquette — to be used interchangeably with the word manners — pegged to consideration, respect and honesty probably wasn’t invented by her, but was promoted by the famed etiquette expert and author Emily Post, who is often quoted as saying, “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” This ideology continues to be the foundation of the Emily Post Institute and most modern day etiquette writers and trainers. Etiquette and good manners are about making people feel more comfortable, not more awkward and embarrassed, especially when they commit a faux pas. When your friend, family member or acquaintance shows up at your formal wedding wearing jeans, don’t boot them out of the ball room. Do however hug or shake hands and thank them for sharing in your special day.
Stay tuned for more questions every day this week, and if you have your own Wediquette question, email them to Melanie at Melanie@myneworleans.com.