Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: My parents chipped in on our wedding, but now we’re way over budget and need help. What do I do?
Answer: It’s common to go over budget on a project, especially one like a wedding when emotions are already running high. First, review every aspect of the wedding and reception and see where you can easily make cuts. Then make a second pass that includes the hard cuts. Next, make a date to meet with your parents. Tell them in advance that you’d like to talk about the wedding and that you would like to get their advice and help regarding the budget. This way they will expect to discuss money and won’t feel ambushed. Finally, during the meeting, thank them for the help they’ve already provided. Then review your suggested trims and cuts with them and ask if they have any suggestions and, or if they would be able to extend additional financial support. If the answer is no, take it with grace and continue making cuts until you get the numbers where they need to be based on your original budget. It might mean giving up a few bells and whistles, which can be difficult, but it will be good practice for the compromises and tough decisions that come up throughout marriage.
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Email melanie@myneworleans.com.
P.S. Listen to the latest episode of the new “The Wediquette: A Let Them Eat Cake Podcast,” here, on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
