Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My fiancé and I are having an “adults only” wedding reception. On the invitations and inserts, we listed only the names of the people who were invited, per the proper etiquette, but one of the invitees included her children’s names on the R.S.V.P. We do not have the inclination or the budget to change course at this point. What do you do when someone adds the names of uninvited people to the R.S.V.P. card?

Answer: It sounds as though you did everything right on the invitation, inserts and R.S.V.P. cards. Unfortunately, there are a lot of folks who aren’t familiar with the indicator that only the names of people listed on the interior inserts are invited to the event. It’s time to give the attendee a call to gently explain the situation. You might say something such as, “Jill, I think there has been some confusion with the wedding and reception invitation. We are having an adult reception. We hope you understand and that you and Jim can still come and celebrate with us.” It might seem a little awkward, but being open and honest is all you can do, and it’s important to let her know you still want her to be there to share your Big Day.



Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.