Wediquette Wednesday: What if I’m a plus-one and I don’t know the bride or groom?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. This week, we are offering up a reader question from the new Summer/Autumn 2015 issue of New Orleans Bride Magazine, which is on newsstands and in bridal boutiques now (Click here for a list of locations). In this installment, advice columnist Dee Lane discusses a reader question about what to do when you are invited as a plus-one to a wedding in which you don’t know either of the betrothed.

Question: I’ve been invited to a wedding as a plus-one, but I don’t know either of the people getting married. What do I need to know?

Answer: Since you’ll be the guest of someone else’s guest, the most important thing is to be as considerate of the couple getting married and of the person who invited you as possible; remember the Southern idiom (once famously said by Ronald Reagan) “Dance with the one who brung ya.” The first rule is to be flexible. Now isn’t the time to be particular about the menu or hotel room, just try to go with the flow and, if necessary, order room service or pass by a drive-thru after the reception. While you should enjoy yourself, don’t try to be the life of the party. Have fun and participate in the day; Instagram, tweet and Snapchat the fun – not embarrassing – moments, especially if the couple has created a wedding hashtag. But don’t overindulge, make impromptu speeches or feel like you should be the center of every dance circle. As part of this, dress conservatively; you should look polished, not like you’re trying to steal the spotlight. Look to the person you’ll be attending with for guidance on introductions, the guestbook, gift and so on. Remember that she or he knows these people much better than you do. Above all, make certain that you both have a great time.

This article appears in the Summer 2015 issue of New Orleans Bride

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