Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. This week, because it’s a common dilemma, we’re offering up an excerpt from the archives of New Orleans Bride Magazine.


Question: I am very lucky because my fiancé and I have many people who are close to us. However, we decided to have a small wedding party composed of just family. We would like to give some of our friends special roles in our day, but if they’re not standing at the altar with us, what can they do?

Answer: Lucky for you, there are as many ways for those special to you to have a special place in your wedding, as there will be petals in your bouquet. Starting with the basics, there are ushers, readers and escorts for your grandparents and other honored guests. If you’re having a Catholic Mass, you’ll need people to carry the offerings during the Offertory. Thinking outside the box a little, why not have an older ring bearer?

Beyond the ceremony, do you have a friend who’s a great dancer and could teach you and your fiancé a few moves for your first dance? Do you know someone who’s fantastic at public speaking and could serve as an emcee for your reception? Once you start thinking of the people in your life in terms of their talents and what makes them special to you, I’m sure you’ll come up with ways to incorporate them into your day. One more tip: If you just can’t choose whom to include, put out a bowl of small flowers with pins so that each guest can have a boutonniere and be a part of your big day.



Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.

For more advice by New Orleans Bride Magazine etiquette columnist Dee Lane, check out her most recent column in the new Winter/Spring 2015 issue.