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Wediquette Wednesday: Who determines the guest list for a shower?
Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)
Question: A dear friend has graciously offered to throw a couple’s shower for me and my fiancé. Although the party is more than six months away, on several occasions she has verbally invited people to attend the shower, some of whom we were not planning to invite to the wedding. Who determines the guest list for a shower the bride and groom or the host?
Answer: It’s so lovely that your friend is throwing you a shower. It’s easy to get carried away due to excitement and when you are working to wow your friends and loved ones. However, it's so important for shower hosts to remember that even though you are throwing the party, it’s essential to collaborate with the bride and groom or both for the guest list, because people not invited to the wedding aren’t supposed to be invited to the showers. It can become awkward, so very gently mention that you are so thrilled and grateful about the shower and you know she is excited, but that you’d like to review the guest list, since not everyone in your friend circle will be invited to the wedding, due to a variety of reasons. Be sure to get her a lovely thank you gift!
Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.
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