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Wediquette Wednesday: Who gets the final say on the wedding guest list?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. This week, we’re answering a question that came to us after last week’s post on tips for building the guest list.

Question: We are at the guest list portion of our wedding planning process and it’s getting more and more difficult by the day. Both sets of parents have long lists of people they want to invite, but it’s not in the budget to fit everyone on their lists and ours. If my parents are paying for the wedding, who gets the final say on the wedding guest list?

Answer: The guest list is probably the most difficult aspect of any wedding. If it’s not budget constraints, it’s trying not to offend or hurt the feelings of someone we may have been close to, but no longer are, or the risk of leaving out someone important. The short answer is that the couple getting married always has the final say, no matter who is footing the bill. That said, it’s important to be respectful of the wishes of those contributing financially and to parents in general for their support and guidance. If possible, begin with a firm number in mind, based on the budget. Give each set of parents a number of invitees and stick to it. Cuts and negotiations then will have to be made within the final number, rather than based upon authority or old or new power struggles.

Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.

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