Wediquette Wednesday: Who gives the wedding thank you speech and who is included in it?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)

Question: My fiancé and I are getting married in a few weeks and we are down to the wire on tying up loose ends. We want to thank everyone who has been there for us, but we aren’t sure how that’s usually done. Who gives the wedding thank you speech and who is included in it?

Answer: This is a great question and one I haven’t had in the past, but that a lot of people will benefit from, so thank you for sending it. Traditionally, the groom gives the thank you speech, but with gender roles being much less set in stone these days and in the case of same sex weddings it’s not a hard-and-fast rule. As long as there is in fact a thank you speech, it doesn’t really matter who delivers it. It can be a member of the couple, a tag-team adventure between the two, or even someone in the bridal party delivering it on behalf of the couple. Which I have seen done and when the person is a good public speaker it’s a great idea. Whomever does the honors, just make sure to write it out in advance and include parents, everyone involved in the wedding, as well as the planning, and guests and friends for supporting you along the way.  

Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email

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