Wediquette Wednesday: Who should I pick as my attendants if sibling relationships are distant?

Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)

Question: My fiancé has four brothers, and they are very close. He plans to ask them to be his groomsmen. I have a brother and a sister, but we aren’t close and never have been, really. I have a tight friend group, however, and they are like family to me. Who should I pick as my attendants if sibling relationships are distant? 

Answer: Family relationships are sometimes quite complicated. Which can certainly make wedding planning more challenging. It’s good to hear you have close, supportive friends. There’s no rule that says you have to have your siblings stand as attendants. It sounds as though they won’t expect to be included in the bridal party, which means there won’t likely be hurt feelings. If that’s the case, feel free to pick the members of your friend group you are closest to as your attendants. If there are more friends than attendant spots, give some of the others “jobs” of honor, such as giving readings during the ceremony.    

Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Email

Listen to the latest episode of the new “The Wediquette: A Let Them Eat Cake Podcast,” here, on Spotify and Apple Podcasts

New Orleans Bride is hosting its summer 2023 Bridal Show on Sept. 7 at the Higgins Hotel. Meet wedding professionals from the Greater New Orleans area, sip a complimentary glass of champagne and win door prizes announced throughout the night. More information and tickets can be found at

Digital Sponsors

Become a sponsor ...