Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: Who normally throws an engagement party? I want to have a party for my friend, but don’t have it in my budget to cover an entire party. Other than me, she hasn’t yet assembled her bridal party, so should I ask her mom or wait?

Answer: Anyone can throw an engagement party. In fact, it’s common to have more than one engagement fete, because multiple friends, coworkers and family members often want the honor of celebrating the happy pair.

Do check in with the bride’s mother, to find out if she already has something in the works. During that conversation, if the mother-of-the-bride is planning something, offer to be the co-hostess. At this time, it’s acceptable to say that you have budgeted X amount to contribute and list whatever jobs you are able to take on.

If the bride’s mother doesn’t already have something planned, tell her you’d like to do it, but that you’re looking for a co-host to split the cost. Ask her if she’d like to co-host or if she can recommend someone in the bride’s inner circle who’d like to participate.

Once that’s settled, take your idea to the bride-to-be and let her know about your plan, again in case she had something else in mind or on the off chance she and the groom-to-be aren’t keen on the idea of an engagement party.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email Melanie@MyNewOrleans.com.



This piece originally published on 01/07/2015.