Recently, I approached our resident Wediquette expert, and New Orleans Bride Magazine editor, Melanie Warner Spencer with an idea. There are certain aspects of a wedding that can perplex even the most expert wedding guest.

We decided that this week would be dedicated to some of the most asked questions.

Our first question is something we get asked so often, it has us doubting ourselves. It’s normal for friends and family to not be available for each party dedicated to a couple’s upcoming nuptials. But, if you don’t make it to the wedding shower, you can bring your present to the wedding, right?


Melanie says:

Technically, guests are discouraged from bringing gifts to the wedding or reception, as it adds one more task for the couple, who then has to pack it up and transport it or designate someone to handle the duty. It’s better — and easier for the couple — to bring or send both late shower gifts and wedding gifts in advance to the designated gift home (the bride or groom; their shared home if they are cohabitating; or the parents of the bride or groom).

This is especially important for destination weddings, where gifts have to be shipped home or — even if driving — space is limited. That said, most couples do anticipate receiving gifts the day of the wedding and will designate a gift table or area. It is fine to bring the gift to the event. If it’s a large and unwieldy gift however, consider delivering it to one of the above-mentioned locations after the wedding. On that note, it’s a misnomer that guests have a year after the wedding to gift the couple. If for any reason you are unable to get the gift to them before or on the day of the wedding, get it to them as soon as possible or at least within a week. Mailing it is fine in this instance too, but preferably to the parents or designated friend or family member if the couple is out of town for the honeymoon and unable to tend to it. Finally, when it comes to showers, if you are planning to bring the wedding gift to the shower, be sure to bring a separate shower gift. If your budget is tight, do two small gifts or one larger and one smaller within your spending limit.



Stay tuned for more questions every day this week, and if you have your own Wediquette question, email them to Melanie at