The weed whacking began shortly after the start of my morning yoga and meditation. It wasn’t obnoxiously loud, but I did peep my watch, because at 8:26 a.m., it seemed early for loud, outdoor chores, even for a Thursday in Uptown where battalions of lawn crews descend daily upon large homes at dawn to wage the endless war on shrubs. By the time I caught my Zen for the day, it was about 9 a.m. That’s when the deafening, muffer-less growl of a power washer blanketed the neighborhood.

Not-So-Fun-Fact: A power washer sounds remarkably like a generator but added in is a distinct whoosh of water pounding with the force of Thor against a hard surface. In this case, it is the sidewalk and, for the person doing the power washing, I’m certain it is a most satisfying endeavor, but for anyone who has the gift of hearing, the incessant hummm, huumm, gaaaaaah grrrrr sppshhhhhh sppshhhhh is … oh my god I can’t think because why is this person using loud machinery before 10 a.m.?

Wasn’t there a world council of some sort called on auditory scourges during the Industrial Revolution, in which it was decided that civilized people don’t create noise pollution until noon or, again, 10 a.m. at the earliest?

In defense of lawn crews, this was not a professional. It was a layperson. Professionals prefer to avoid confrontations with torch-wielding villagers so they do quiet work like hand pruning and manual soil aeration (or something, I honestly have no idea what they do because my budget doesn’t include this type of service) in the wee hours. Bless them and their kin for generations to come for this common courtesy!

(Note: I realize that power washer — or generator, lawn mower and leaf blower, for example — noise ranks exceptionally high on the long list of first world problems.)

In conclusion, can we all please agree — ahem, recommit (see above mention of world council that I’m sure happened at some point) — that we will not cook up earsplitting tasks until at least 10 a.m.?


Do you have strong opinions on the subject? Please share your thoughts, solutions and personal experience in comments or email me at to discuss.