We often receive emails with survey results or “expert” opinions on various wedding-related matters. While we don’t take what many have to say at face value, it can spark a conversation concerning wedding etiquette that is important.
Recently, a company contacted us regarding what they claim is the number one etiquette mistake guests make at weddings. Now, depending on what the most important part of a wedding is to you, this mistake could be many different things to different people. This particular company said the biggest mistake guests make is wearing the wrong attire to a wedding, which got us thinking. While dress codes in cities that have four complete seasons can be more cut and dry, it’s not that easy in a city like New Orleans – which even in dead of winter could have an 80 degree day.
Before we get into appropriate wedding emsemble specifics for New Orleans, we are taking a look at a breakdown of different attire for a range of levels of formality. Reminder: how formal or what specifically a guest should wear to a wedding will be indicated on the wedding invitation.
The Emily Post Institute is who we trust for all etiquette questions and here’s what they shared:
Formal
Daytime
Women*: Cocktail or dressy afternoon dress
Men: Dark suit; conservative shirt and tie
Evening
Women*: Depending on local customs, long evening dress or dressy cocktail dress; gloves optional
Men: Tuxedo (required if invitation states “Black tie”) or dark suit
Semiformal
Daytime
Women*: Dressy afternoon dress, suit, or pantsuit
Men: Dark suit; Blazer, grey flannels, tie
Evening
Women: Cocktail dress, dressy pantsuit
Men: Dark suit
Informal
Daytime
Women*: Afternoon dress; dressy skirt or pants and blouse
Men: Sports jacket or blazer, slacks, tie optional
Evening
Women*: Afternoon or cocktail dress
Men: Blazer, grey flannel or slacks, tie optional
*Hats or head coverings optional (unless required)
The Emily Post Institute breakdown is all well and good, but what exactly is a “cocktail dress” that is appropriate for almost any situation?
Vogue shares, “In the simplest of terms, it’s a semi-formal style of dress typically worn on early evening and late afternoon occasions.” The fashion magazine continues saying that when it comes to dresses, the length for a cocktail dress depends on the style. “A long or midi dress is appropriate with a sleeker silhouette (let’s stay away from the ball gowns),” said Vogue. “And a shorter dress can also work but keep the occasion in mind with the length.”
When it comes to style in New Orleans, we think back to the fact that the weather is not as predictable as other cities. Certain fabrics can be lighter and more breathable but aren’t necessarily appropriate in different seasons. For this reason, we advise leaning more heavily on color and pattern choices.
Wedding dress designer Pronovais has an excellent breakdown for the perfect fabrics and colors per season. For the springtime they say suggest leaning towards floral patterns in shades of pink, lavender or even mint, while incorporating lighter fabrics like chiffon that’s good for layering.
In summer, go for breathable fabrics like tulle or a light crepe, while opting for open back or cut-outs to help with keeping things airy. Pronovais says color-blocking works well in summer while leaning towards colors like coral, turquoise, or fuchsia.
For fall, Pronovais says rich colors like burgundy, deep yellow, purple, or navy are “timeless choices” for the season. “To keep warm while remaining stylish,” continues the brand, “choose a dress made of mikado or heavy satin, both of which offer structure and a luxurious feel.”
And, finally, in winter a chic fabric choice is velvet, or other heavier options in rich jewel tones such as emerald green, ruby red, sapphire blue, or onyx black.
While black is only mentioned in the fall, generally black is considered OK for any season and a classic option, as long as there is nothing indicated by the couple that black is not a welcome hue. When it comes to different times of the year, however, opting for black really depends on the fabric choice. We’re not going to go with a black velvet in the middle of summer. So, be mindful.
For New Orleans gentlemen, seersucker is a popular fabric during warmer months. A previous “Wediquette Wednesday” covered the topic saying:
“When it comes to seersucker, there are differing schools of thought as to the acceptable season and time of day. Some maintain that you wear it only after Labor Day, akin to the rules of wearing white (which you’ll want to avoid at a wedding unless you are the bride or have been instructed by the couple to wear white), and others embrace wearing it (especially in the South) any time it’s hot outside. This could mean donning it as late as October, if you are the devil may care sort. For a spring or summer wedding, a good rule of thumb is that you are free and clear to wear seersucker (and also linen, but not in white or a tan suit) for an outdoor, afternoon wedding. If it’s a church wedding that begins at or after 5:30 p.m., with an evening reception, it might be better to opt for gray, which will transition well into evening.”
Kelly here: one of my biggest guest attire pet peeves are those guests who wear outfits that are too heavy with the color white. As a traditionalist, unless prompted by the couple, white should be reserved for the bride. When in spring or summer, and patterns are a little more fun and vibrant, just make sure that any dresses that include white are simply white accents and not using white as a primary color. For example, a blue dress with a semi-white pattern.
While more “traditional” ideals are always bending with the times, this is one faux pas that this writer will not be able to get behind.
Couples spend a lot of time thinking about their wedding day. You don’t want to be the guest that shows up in jeans to a formal wedding reception. When it comes down to it, just be mindful and accommodating to the couple’s wishes. It’s one day, where everyone should be leaning into the love and celebration of the day, and you can find something to fit the formality and season of the couple’s Big Day.
