What Should the Mother of the Bride Wear?

There is no rest when it comes to social media, especially when everyone has an opinion they can share behind the safety of their phone or computer. Recently, a mother-of-the-bride was the center of attention and controversy after a wedding content planner shared a TikTok praising how great the mother looked in her dress walking down the aisle for her daughter’s wedding.

Though the video was posted with admiration, the comments the mother received weren’t all positive. Many thought the mother was in the wrong with her outfit of choice, convinced she was trying to upstage her daughter on the day that was supposed to be about her.

We saw this video when it first went viral (now with millions of views) earlier this month. What we didn’t know was that the wedding in question was actually of a Louisiana family, and in New Orleans, at the Hotel Peter and Paul.

The mother, Lori DeWitt, and bride, Amanda DeWitt, spoke to the Today Show about the entire ordeal, which you can read here.

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We’re more interested in the etiquette surrounding the whole viral event. With so many people upset about the mother of the bride’s look, we wanted to see who was correct when it came to their very opinionated comments.

First, our own educated opinion: We absolutely love the dress. Not only is it completely gorgeous (and apparently has created a waitlist for the Audrey + Brooks custom dress from Flora on Madison in New York City), but it is also appropriate for the time of the year and the location of the event.

Additionally, “Let Them Eat Cake” Wediquette expert Melanie Warner Spencer wrote about this very subject noting, “Typically the mother of the bride’s outfit is whatever fits her style.” Continuing, “What matters most is that she feels confident in her choice, so that she can focus on enjoying your Big Day and not on her attire.”

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But the real test comes with the opinion of the peak of etiquette, the Emily Post Institute.

The institute’s take is that the mothers of the couple getting married can essentially wear anything, minus, of course, white, unless the couple has added that as a criteria for the wedding or wedding party.

“The old concept that both moms are supposed to look matronly was retired long ago,” said the Institute, “along with the colorless advice that the mother of the groom should wear beige, unless that’s her color. Fashionable, tasteful and age-appropriate are in.”

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They continue to state that basically anything goes for the mothers of the brides and grooms as long as it matches the wedding’s vibe, color scheme and style.

The only real rules when dressing the couple’s mothers is for straight couples, which says the mother of the groom should reach out to the mother of the bride to see what she is wearing, as the mother of the bride takes the lead and buys her dress first. Neither want to match each other, or the bridesmaids, unless requested by the couple, or clash with each other while standing next to each other for any parts of the ceremony or photos.

For same sex couples, we suggest mothers of the couple just coordinate with each other – maybe even make a day out of finding their outfits so they can both feel fantastic.

Additional guidelines the institute gives include:

  • Traditionally, the bride’s mother has the honor of selecting her outfit first.
  • Try not to choose colors that are the same or very similar to the bride’s and bridesmaids’ dresses—you won’t stand out.
  • Wear different colors from each other. Variations on the wedding color scheme are fine as long as each mother’s dress is distinct.
  • The length of the gown or dress is a personal choice, even for formal weddings. Long dresses and skirts are fine for any wedding from noon on.
  • The mothers do not have to wear dresses of equal length, although many do, feeling that it creates a more harmonious look, especially in wedding photos.

All of this, to us, validates our New Orleans mom, Lori. Lori and her daughter not only loved how the dress looked, but Lori felt great in it. Equally as important, Amanda loved her mom in the dress.

In the age of the internet, everyone will have an opinion and you won’t be able to stop them from making comments. But, as long as you and your bride or groom are happy, and you have the Emily Post Institute behind you, you wear your mother of the bride/groom outfit with confidence.

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