We recently dove into the popular wedding idioms “tie the knot” and “pop the question.” When discussing the latter, a note was made about adding in men getting down on one knee to propose while the phrase was growing in popularity because of the emotion then put into marriages. It obviously meant we needed to take a look at why it is custom to get down on one knee to propose.
Does this even have an origin or is it just something that has adapted over time?
In our research we came to find that this tradition actually has a medieval tie, a little farther back than the wedding tradition-heavy Victorian Era.
Like most wedding traditions, the idea of kneeling to propose stems from when weddings or marriages were born from business negotiations between families and less about love and adoration.
Kneeling was considered a sign of respect or reverence for those born of higher birth, especially medieval knights who kneeled before a noblewoman. Additionally, those knights would also kneel during religious ceremonies as a sign of faith. As the tradition continued, Bustle magazine notes the Middle Ages began to see the idea of courtly love, “in which a man of good birth essentially devoted himself (complete with poems, odes, deeds of honor, and general vassalage) to a noblewoman he perceived as superior.”
The organization points out that many images in Christian iconography show those kneeling in devotion or servitude, as well as the kneeling between men was a sign of status.
As the idea continued and proposals became more romantic, we believe the idea of kneeling turned into more of a sign of devotion and respect to one’s partner. As the knights believed it was a vulnerable position to be in, down on a knee, the physical act shows a notion of faith in one’s fiancé and the ultimate sign of vulnerability.
Even with the more serious orgin story, there is something romantic about kneeling to propose. You’re honoring and elevating your fiancé to a level higher than yourself in a moment when you ask them to join you as a couple and begin a life together. There’s definitely something special about that.
Kelly here: As someone with arthritis, I can understand those without the ability to kneel. I’m sure it goes without saying, but this doesn’t make your proposal any less romantic. There are always creative ways to get around anything. First, you don’t have to kneel at all. The proposal police won’t be there to fine you. Consider bringing in a pet with a sign or the ring somehow attached to them. You can even plan the proposal to have both of you sitting like on a bench in your favorite park. The proposal is about both of you, so don’t make popping the question difficult on yourself.
