This weather needs to stop, like, immediately. I hate discussing the weather; I truly do. It’s boring mindless chitchat, and we have better things to talk about in New Orleans. We could be talking about who makes the best King Cakes or what parades we’re most looking forward to (Dong Phuong and either Krewe du Vieux or Le Krewe d’Etat for me). We could be talking about what good restaurants have opened recently or the effects gentrification is having on home prices or the trial of the former mayor. God, at this point, I would even welcome a discussion about the Super Bowl halftime show or that “controversial” Coke ad. But no. All we can talk about is this bizarre weather.

My friends in St. Louis and Chicago and Omaha point out that I can’t complain about 28 degrees when it’s been -20 there for weeks. But honestly, it’s not the cold, although I do hate the cold and moved here largely to escape it. It’s the craziness.

And this is one more time when having a kid who goes back and forth between two homes is just plain crappy. It was 65 degrees last Monday, but I forced Ruby to take her down jacket to school that morning because her dad was picking her up that afternoon. She was in short sleeves, and I was in flip-flops, and she thought I was crazy. “Trust me,” I said, shoving her pink coat into her backpack, feathers flying everywhere, and by the next day, it had dropped 40 degrees and was sleeting.

We had two “snow days” in which no truly discernible snow fell, but I was happy to be inside, off work, eating soup in my flannel PJ pants and watching the newscasters report on nothing while I caught up on the laundry. My stepson managed to scrape up enough snow to make a small snowball. Ruby was pretty jaded after her recent trip to St. Louis, where she got to sled and build a huge snowman, but she still humored us as we oohed and ahhed at icicles. Thursday was chilly; and Friday was balmy; and by Saturday, I was back in flip-flops drinking an iced coffee. And then yesterday, it sleeted again! But this weekend? 60s and sunny.

What is going on?

I don’t mind a cold snap. I can even handle a cold winter. I hated winters in Missouri, but I survived 10 of them before moving home. At least then, you could reliably count on needing your coat – and scarf and hat and gloves and boots and extra socks – every day from November to late March. It sucked, but it sucked in a predictable way. This madness, where one day I am wearing a tank top and less than 24 hours later I am trapped in the house with the streets iced over, this is making me nuts (more so than usual).

Right now, it is a reasonable temperature for this time of year. I hope it lasts. I don’t mind a snow day or two, but it’s Carnival season, and really, we all have better things to do.