Words to the Wise


I have never been a canny investor. I have never actually been an investor at all, mainly because I know I’m not a canny investor. But once in a while an opportunity comes around and you feel you have to take it.

That feeling is wrong, and you are wrong for feeling it. I thought if I did my homework, and if I felt like the business was a good one, I’d be a fool to pass up a chance to invest in “Beef Squared.”

I think you will all agree that if we could buy beef that tastes “beefier,” we’d all do it in a heartbeat, right? What if we could feed beef to cattle, doesn’t it make sense that they’d taste even more like beef?

Well, no. There are several hurdles in the way of carnivorous bovines, as I learned after searching online for “feeding beef to cows to make them taste more like beef.” Thanks for nothing, Yahoo Answers!

First, they lack the teeth for it, and it turns out that veterinary dental surgery to implant canines is extremely expensive and just ends up making it harder for the cow to eat hay or corn or whatever they eat. Second, although they have something like 12 stomachs, they don’t digest meat very well. Or at all, I think. The science is only in its infancy.

In more pleasant news, I had two excellent takeout meals recently. The first was Saffron, which I always enjoy and is pretty close to my home. The bread was great as always, the Gobi (cauliflower with potatoes) was so good the last time I had it, I ordered two. They do a damn fine dal makhni, too, with black lentils and red beans. I ordered two of that as well, because I like to eat it for breakfast the next day.

Saffron was busy on the Friday night I picked up, but to dine there you must either show proof of vaccination or a negative COVID-19 test within 72 hours. I’m fully in favor of that policy, and I am grateful to Saffron and any other restaurants who require it. I’m even more gratified to know they had no problem filling the seats in their restaurant.

This past Tuesday we ordered from Val’s on Freret Street. Val’s is even closer to my house than Saffron, and they have a huge patio with well-spaced tables for outdoor dining.

They also have excellent food, albeit a limited menu. If I am at a place that serves tacos, and they serve tongue, I am eating tongue tacos. There’s no lengua at Val’s, but they do have a crispy beef belly filling that’s absolutely delicious and is now my second-favorite taco filling. I also like their fish tacos, and that’s rare. Those are very easy to screw up, but they’re delicious and I know to order more than I think we need because everybody wants them and feelings are hurt when they run out.

They have good salsa, house-made chips and the beans (with bacon) are excellent, as well. Given the people that own Cure and Cane and Table are partly responsible for the place, it’s no surprise they have an excellent drinks menu. Hell, even the frozen margarita is good.

I hope we’ve all learned valuable lessons today. I have learned that it is unwise to take investment advice from a guy standing in line at a convenience store to buy lottery tickets, condoms and a glass pipe. You, I hope, have learned not only that lesson, but also that excellent food is to be had at Saffron and Val’s.



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